Starship Startup

Hi guys, what’s up? You’ve noticed all the Startup KoolAid. Like, you can see it from space. Digital Koolaid has been checking what it’s really all about.

Here in the Lucky Country we Imitate to Innovate. That’s because all the really great STM happens OS. Our entrepreneurial classes are flying off to Silicon Valley and Tel Aviv; and now if Innovation PM 2.0 gets his way, rushing back to our own Silicon Gully. Our Digital Transformation office is flat out imitating the London GDS “unashamedly”. So the best place to look for signs of the future would be overseas for sure. Let’s grab the Digital Passport and catch the rocket to LA.


First thing you’ll notice is the Americans are in a world of pain. That’s a surprise and bad sure. American Entrepreneurialism could be in a death spiral. On a per capita (per person) basis, they’re in free-fall. And if American  entrepreneurs are in a death spiral, then so too is the U.S. economy and the government that lives off the surplus generated by entrepreneurs (if you believe there ever is one). Plus when you check across in the UK as well you’ll find only 1 per cent of hi-tech companies have sales of more than $2 million six years after they start (like, that’s 1 in 100, since 2009). The median sales figure for a six-year-old hi-tech firm is less than $50,000. Disappointing facts for our copycats in charge of Startups and Innovation in Silicon Gully.

Our mainstream media has this thing about the handful of 21st century, multi-million dollar success stories (think Atlassian etc), but down in the trenches of the Aussie economy the story is totally different: our starting point is micro. Australian start-ups don’t register on the global economic Richter Scale. Meantime, in Collins Street and Pitt Street the existing wealth of existing wealthy people must stay rock solid. Let the kids in their start-up bedrooms drink that Entrepreneurial KoolAid. They can burn somebody else’s money. Banking, media, minerals, communications: these are natural oligopolies: OURS. Corporate lunches, political patronage, tax legislation, Tel Aviv trade missions, golf days and GBE board positions: these need our senior experience. Small business is essential: the backbone of the economy: more entrepreneurs are needed: but real blue-chip industry leaders must have experience and impressive LinkedIn profiles, preferably from outside the Aussie solar system. Then get your gang together and UberX out to the launch pad for a SpaceBnB stay “researching” innovation and entrepreneurship, somewhere else where STM happens.

Did you guys catch that report by surveyor StartUp Muster, backed by Google, which found nearly 20 per cent of start-up companies in Australia are planning to relocate overseas while around a quarter plan to undertake capital-raising overseas? Monica reported that of the 600 Australian start-up companies surveyed, nearly half launched in 2014 which seemed to signal a boom in entrepreneurship, though more than two-thirds will require funding to survive (just) into the next year. Cool, Ready-to-Fail enterprises get Aussie taxpayer dollars to leave the country. How’s that for investment in an agile future? Seriously downwardly agile friends …

And when Starship Startup fails to launch, taking a universe of venture capital down with it, Malcolm 2.0’s awesome innovation thing will be blown. The vision, mission and hyperventilation of a new-era beyond your dreams will come down to this – a pile of contrails in the upper atmosphere. “Communications check – Innovation-1 do you read me ?”


But …. like why is Startup Muster marketing Startup KoolAid ? Had to “share” this with you (hey, gimme 5 bucks dude, we got an SpaceBnB sharing business model to fund)

The Government is fostering new approaches that will (for sure … 100% they will)
Feel-Good Fantasy Reality Check
Acknowledge that risk and failure are not to be mitigated against but essential to developing entrepreneurial spirit and culture No risk management plan? You just suck it up when we lose your money and we’ll head off to our next digital play. Failure is essential: yours.
Help attract capital to enable Australian startup businesses turn bright ideas into economic and commercial reality Help who? And are those the bright ideas we got in from Tel Aviv? Oy Gevalt!
Enhance our skills base so the next generation of Australians has every chance to fully participate in and benefit from the changing economy Sure, that’s school but why is it always “the next generation”? Is it already too late for this generation? Already beat?
Generate greater co-operation between research, business and government on commercialisation When did research and government ever get into commercialisation? Like, never …
Position government as an exemplar. The Government must lead by example through innovative practices and a readiness to experiment and act. We must remove barriers to make it as easy as possible for our innovators and entrepreneurs to do business with government Can’t write, got cramp, laughing too hard, sorry, reading that thing about innovators and entrepreneurs doing business with government and it just like, hit me ….

This is a national development strategy to replace the Aussie mining boom? Like ….. ?


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